It all started with an early morning phone call from Seaside Sue, my wonderful friend in Cumbria. "Are you going to apply for the Wookeyhole Witch job? It just sounds like you." was her opening line. I didn't know what she was on about. She went on to tell me all the details that she had just heard on the radio. I laughed and said "no way."
Later that day I had an email, from another friend, asking me the same thing and urging me to send for an application form. Another phone call that evening was even more insistent that this was the post for me, this from the leader of a group for whom I had run many workshops and courses. I went to bed that night with a smile on my face but still no intention of chasing the job.
I was in the shower next morning when my beloved yelled up to me, "Hey! I've just seen the perfect job for you on the telly." "Don't tell me.... Wookeyhole Witch?" I answered. (I hadn't told him about the calls and messages of the day before.) He left for work laughing.
I was doing some divination work later that morning when I got my old mate Bill Harrison coming through, he wasn't who I was trying to contact. I just kept getting his face before me in the water in my scrying bowl and his laughter in my mind. I asked what he wanted and the message I got was "Only 3 times....but you got 4." It finally dawned on me that he was reminding me what he always said, that if you get the same message/info/idea given to you 3 times over a couple of days that you should DO something about it. He was saying that I had been given the same thing 4 times over just 24 hours! So why wasn't I moving on it?
"OK! OK! I GIVE IN!" I called Wookeyhole and my application form was there the next day.
In the 'Role & Responsibilities' section of the job spec' it said: "The Witch of Wookey will meet and greet visitors and go about the everyday life of a witch - showing visitors what it was like to live in the Dark Ages in a cave."
The 'Essential Skills And Requirements' stated that "Knowledge of the history of Witchcraft is ESSENTIAL".
Because of these comments I thought "Wow! They are going to do this properly. Not a witchy send up. This would be good for the public to learn that witches have had a bad press." So I went for it.
Mind you what should have made me more wary was the last "Essential Skill", which was that, "All applicants must be able to produce a witch' cackle - This will be a required performance at the audition". OH, TRUSTING FOOL! I posted my application form, prepared my Dark Ages costume and presentation, and waited.
The call came just four days before the audition. YES! I had made it to the last 300, from over 3,000 applicants.
We left Skipton at 11.00pm on monday night and drove the 260 miles through the night, reaching Somerset at 4.30am. We caught a couple of hours sleep at Sedgemoor service station, and arrived at Wookey Hole just before 8.00. There were a good many witches there already, cackling and coughing. Some having arrived before 6.00am!
As I looked around my heart sunk. Everywhere I looked I could see 'Disney' witches. All black pointed hats, sparkly eyeshadow and stripy tights!
There were also the ones who had gone for the 'Green Face' tack, with cute cuddly toy cat tied onto their broom or dangling from their hand bag. Others had gone for the zombie look, grey lined face or peeling skin. Just what a Family day out needs eh?
"OH NO! WHY AM I HERE?" I thought about turning around and going home, but hang on, I'd come a long way for this. At least I could have some fun, and in that frame of mind my day brightened.
There were zombies, sexy witches, funky teenage witches in biker boots,hippy witches with flower bedecked hair, a goddess or two, mini-skirted witches, you name it they were there. It was AMAZING, and that was only the women. In the other camp we had a Druid with dreadlocks, a guy with grey matted wig, false nose and chin and green makeup being a "Female" witch, also Gandalf the White who professed to having multi-personality disorder. Now He was a Balm-tub! One young chap, all tall and gangly, was dressed like a pantomime Dame type witch, all colourful satin and OTT frills.There was one little dumpy guy in black pumps, black sweats, black nylon cape and a leather cowboy hat (not back) who, every time he saw a reporter or a camera, he whipped a copy of the 'Book he had written' out of the shopping basket he was carrying. It was so funny to watch. He was a subtle as a 9lb sledgehammer!
One of the 'witches' was a Falconer at a falconry centre and she had brought along a raven named Bran, who had been rescued after being found with a smashed wing. He now lived at the centre as he would never be able to fly properly again. He was one FAB prop.
As I think I may have mentioned before on this site I see 'Auras' and because of this it was easy to spot the 'Real McCoy'. The genuine people who did have the powers/energies that a lot of the others professed to have. Also one or two there showed a very different energy that I, for one, was determined to keep far away from. They are the ones that give genuine wise-folk a bad name. The highlight of my day was meeting a lovely witch named Bernadette, who had come over from Waterford in Ireland. She had traveled with her mother and sister, both also being witches. They were wonderful! We took over a table outside the mill buildings at the centre of the Wookey Hole complex.Time wore on and more and more witches arrived. It was a colourful, cackleful group.
We were finally called to line up for our one minute, yes you read it right, one minute, in which to impress the judges. By now I had put it all down to experience and didn't give a fig. I thought that Wookey Hole had thought of a damn good publicity stunt, and anyway I was enjoying myself and meeting some brilliant people. I managed to get in first and get it over with, then out into the sunshine again.
The media circus was everywhere. I was interviewed by The Times reporter, who managed to put the wrong first name into his article, but I forgave him as he called my ample waist 'generous' instead of Big or Fat. Also he said that the fake witches were dressed in Halloween costumes and the REAL witches were not. Good Lad! I was also on the one o'clock BBC News. Oo-er!
We had to wait for 300 witches etc to go through audition, then go back into the auditorium at 2.30 to find out the 15 finalists.
Well, what a surprise! NOT! 14 of the finalists were 'Disney' type. The only shock, and he was probably only for the media, was the young Pantomime Dame, it turns out he was a Stonemason. Now that's a skill to be proud of.
Most people got up and left then. Oh how shocking we were, not to stick it out to the end. It was now almost 4.30. It had been a very long day. Fun, but long. Also Steve, my beloved was waiting to drive me all they way to Cumbria, where I was going to do a resting ceremony. We drove through torrential rain reaching our friends, Sue & Graham, home near St Bees, just 24 hours since we left home in Skipton, but WHAT A DAY. Brilliant!!!
P.S. The Disney Witch that got the job was an Estate Agent, who didn't know Lammas from a lamppost from what we could gather when chatting to her earlier.
The photos on this page were all taken really early in the day hence the small number of witches about.